My View

Great email that I received

>One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he
>asked about his bill and the barber replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot
>accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The
>florist is pleased and leaves the shop.

>Next morning when the barber goes to open his shop. There is a thank
>you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

>Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill
>the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you;
>I'm doing community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the
>shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a thank you
>card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

>Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his
>bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from
>you; I'm doing community service this week." The Republican is very
>happy and leaves the shop.

>Next morning when the barber goes to open, there is a thank you card
>and a dozen different books such as "How to Improve Your Business" and
>"Becoming More Successful."

>Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his
>bill
>the
>barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing
>community service this week." The Democrat is very happy and leaves the
>shop
>
>The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
>Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut.

>And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between
>left and right.

Cute picture

Cute Picture I got in an email

Health tips

la prairie makeup uses skin from caviars. Yuck

 

Skin Caviar Concealer Foundation

Offers smooth, flawless & natural-looking coverage. Contains caviar extract to firm & nourish your skin. Incredibly helps cover up any imperfections. Remarkable color and coverage that lasts all day.

Funny email I about Hollywood Squares

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
 

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high  should you be?
 

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
 

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. < I>You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you p rob ably a man or a woman?
 

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopo litan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
 

A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
 

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
 

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
 

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
 

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
 

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too
easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.   Are you going to get any during the first year?
 

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
 

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.  One is politics , what is the other?
 

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the
closet?
 

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
 

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
 

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
 

A. Paul Lyn de: Whatever it is, it would neve r be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the  habit of kissing a lot of people?
 

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
 

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he
trying to do?
 

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
 

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
 

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and  has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
 

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
 

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

"Signs, signs, everywhere are signs..."

"Signs, signs, everywhere are signs..."

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
******************************

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
**************************

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
**************************

On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
**************************

At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
**************************

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

**************************
At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
**************************

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak

NEVER SAY TO A COP

NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good  job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other

cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

What will I be when I grow up?

This is a funny email I got.